Broken Crayons are hard to color with

Hi, I'm Clammy Sammy, when I'm not stealing other people's ideas, I work really hard to ride other people's coat tails. In fact, I'm so good at it, I have other people pay for my services. Why's this? Because I'm unorriginal, and nothing I ever do online works. From the guys at CrayolaSec.com, we hope you enjoy our story.

It's me, Clammy again... I mean Sammy. Years ago I decided that one man isnt good enough for me, so I packed him and my entire family up and moved half way across the country to be with my internet boyfriend. I say I'm poly, but I'll even sleep with people like Christopher Rosene. Unfortunately our couch never recoverd. Plus I had to tell him to leave, because he was eating everything and smoking all of the cannabis I use to treat my fake Crohn's. 

About us

We promise to provide the most sub-standard experience you find on the web, whether it be completely ridiculous tech advice, or if you're running from the law, we got you.

If you ever get hit in your own home's parking lot, make sure to not call the police, and then leave the hospital because they won;t give in to your opioid addiction.

Anyone have free pallets for our $50 house plans that a kid with a ruler could have drawn?

Dental care

We don't believe in it, which is why one of us can't smile at all because they don't have any teeth, and the rest are scary as hell. Also the same reason we'll never look like the girl in this picture.